Taking a Gap Year from my Midlife Crisis

My mind wanders further than my body ever could

I first embarked on my self-imposed study of “academic writing” with a naïve view: that by climbing above the foundational layers of pop-science, I could concisely define the challenges I face in leading a small business in a global world.

Of course, I expected challenges along the way. I welcomed exposure to new ideas and disciplines, and embraced the task of wading through books and articles whose premises I instinctively disagreed with — all in the name of building a thesis robust enough to withstand contradiction and bias. This was to be the academic adventure of a lifetime, setting me on route toward insight and success in my professional microcosm.

Now, as with all great adventures, I find myself far from my original path and loathe to find my way back. In just a few short months, I’ve traversed from business studies to cognitive psychology to behavioural economics (and back again) having devoured Tversky and Kahneman, Thaler and Sunstein and even managing to enjoy aspects of the somewhat drier counterpoints of Gigerenzer and his gang at the ABC Research Group.

Along the way, I have found many happy diversions into the more abstract world of moral philosophy – an activity which I previously considered myself to be 20 years too old to take seriously. Or, at least, too old to take myself seriously enough to partake in! Yet now I consider myself the proud owner of a fledgling belief in a Rawlsian style of justice, with the view that ethics must be allowed to evolve to suit the society of the day. In fact - truthfully - I want to take Kant behind the Veil of Ignorance and give him a good beating (Yes, I understand him. No, I don’t think he’s big or clever).

With each passage I read and theory I contend with, I discover another false summit in my climb. To malaprop the findings of Messrs Dunning and Kruger, I find myself happily anticipating my fall from Mt. Stupid and hoping to start that long ascent from the Valley of Despair into Enlightenment.

And yet… just how can I begin my climb out of this mix of jumbled metaphors, when, with each publication I conquer, I find three more taking its place – these giants upon which we stand are many!

Then, just as I steady myself to pursue a line of enquiry into how the improvisational nature of human thought just might tie heuristics to the successful decisions of entrepreneurs, I find myself utterly devoted to Dostoevsky and his beautiful descriptions of the human condition - after reading just a single page!

Is this to be my life of intellectual adventure? Will I find myself happily trekking over a mountain range of stupidity without ever navigating my way to enlightenment? Will I even notice… or care?